So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
