Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
