did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize