its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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