I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
