"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize