Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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