He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
