I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
