You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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