Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Do vagina's smell?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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