a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
