Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
