So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
