new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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