Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
