No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
