All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
