I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
