My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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