Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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