Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
