areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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