Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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