Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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