Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
