He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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