Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Dicks are not precious.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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