Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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