she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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