My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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