Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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