Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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