Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
