Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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