I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
