it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize