Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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