she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
