he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
