i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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