marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
