Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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