ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
