after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
