omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
