ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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