If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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