I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
