smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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