I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
