who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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