Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
