you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
