He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
