Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
