I heard we made out
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
if only i could text you this smell
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Randomize
